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Monday, July 31, 2006
It’s a good thing he’s fast on a bike, otherwise he’d just be a big, ugly, smelly guy with anal lube stains on the back of his shorts. Velonews Forum had a posting today "Forget Floyd ... They need to check the T/E ratio on this girl ..."
Funny thing is, I met Laura Van Gilder a couple of years ago and asked her what kind of weight training program she did. None! Turns out, being only 5' tall, she's very self conscious about her build and does everything in her power to not bulk up. I'm thinking all she needs is a flat head (for the Guinness of course) and no teeth and we've got 6'6" Pychocross Art a dream girl.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Easy there boys ... you're on TV There's nothing quite like a 24-hour blitz out to Las Vegas to see some good friends and a kick ass metal show. By the way, PsychoCross Art is an angry, bitter man and these are some of the things that make him that way.
While backstage, the crew from RideTrash got to meet up with Randy from Lamb of God and Kerry King of Slayer ...
... even had a girl flash me because she thought I might be able get her behind the scenes.
Speaking of a girl with a "goal" in mind ... check out the new blog from Mistress Julie, then have a look at the August 2006 Calendar. Let's just say she's "servicing" her bike.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Check out the new edition of The Podium. Thursday, July 20, 2006
Kiss my ass Periero ... I’m back! Not since Greg LeMond pulled 58 seconds out of his butt to beat Frenchman, avec ponytail, Laurent Fignon, on the final day of the ’89 Tour, have we seen a comeback of this proportion.
Before there was Laurent Brochard ... Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Of course there was going to be trouble when they announced his wife had arrived in France yesterday. Probably got a little too exhausted last night "celebrating" the yellow jersey. I think what we saw today was a major bonk. He was isolated early with no real teammates and probably didn't get the necessary water bottles and Gu. "Spaniard" Pereiro, on the other hand, has obviously visited what Dave at Evilcycling likes to call “Dr. Magic's RV" for a few quarts of racin' blood. This year’s Tour is clearly being raced at two speeds - there are the "sort of doped up" riders and the "juiced to the gills" riders. Pereiro didn't even look tired crossing the line. Total bullshit. And Cyril Dessel of AG2R still in 4th ... are you serious???
Worth dying of dehydration for Looks like when it’s all said and done, Rasmussen taking the “Dots” and David Millar sucking balls are the only things I’m going to get right in this Tour. Monday, July 17, 2006 Of course Phonak was correct in relinquishing yellow - the dude is no threat.
Pereiro will be lucky to finish in the top 15 and no one will be mentioning his name after tomorrow’s stage to L’Alpe D’Huez. Looks like the “End Times” are right on schedule in the Middle East. Israeli jets have been ripping the Lebanese a new asshole and things can’t be going any better in Iraq and Iran.
More BBQ's than the 4th of July Good going Bush, and speaking of bush. Thursday, July 13, 2006 Dan-O over at ShifterBikes.com dispels the myth ... sort of.
Dan-O and some random gay prostitute Seriously, single speed culture is riding strong in the "sunburned country" and anyone with the motto “Ride, Race, Drink, Fight, Fuck” is alright with me. Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Nice going shitheads Even my new personal assistant could have gotten that right and she looks a hell of a lot better in pink ...
Tomorrow is the big sort out. With hordes of greasy, unbathed Basque lining the hors category Pyrenean roadsides, the true contenders will emerge. And so will the doped-up Spanish climbers like, Inigo Landaluze, who looked like he could have used a few testosterone patches on his balls today.
Euska-smells like a doper Monday, July 10, 2006 How else do you explain the underperformances of so many pre-race favorites?
My theory is that teams were so worried about a huge doping raid on the eve of such an important stage, and of the possibility of increased testing the day of the event, they didn’t dare to do the usual "dope-up", instead opting to ride it “naked”.
Either that or a whole bunch of FedEx packages didn’t arrive in time ... So in the end you get this ... Gonshar, an aging 36 year old veteran who has been under investigation in the past, destroys the field, including world and national time trial champions. The top placed rider from time trial powerhouses CSC and Discovery come in 13th and 19th respectively. "Climber" Andreas Kloden rolled faster than "ITT specialist" Dave Zabriskie. Iban Mayo beats Levi Leipheimer by 30 seconds. I rest my case.
A bit of an oxymoron here Thursday, July 6, 2006 I can’t believe the number of times that corporate tool still mentions the name Lance Armstrong - only live coverage with Phil and Paul for me thank you. At least Kirsten Gum had some fake tits to look at.
And when are people going to get the clue that Iban Mayo will NEVER be a true GC contender? I just wish that little shit would do more training rides in New York City. A guy like Vladimir Karpets, on the other hand, may dish out a surprise result this year despite having one of those dreaded Euro-mullets.
Kentukyslovinia Wednesday, July 5, 2006
Now that my original Tour predictions are out the window, I'll take Floyd Landis for the overall and say that some assclown from Disco will end up on the podium - but what the fuck do I know.
After Ullrich got nailed in Operation Puerto, all he could tell German television was "I am in shock. I could cry". You would expect a more “manly” statement out of a guy who’s been shooting huge Spanish cocktails of testosterone and growth hormone. And what’s with Jimmy Casper looking a like a gay guy at one of Liza Minelli’s weddings after his stage win?
It’s good to see that Karma is in full swing this week. First Ken Lay dies from a massive heart attack and then Alejandro Valverde, former Kelme rider and “most likely” Dr. Fuentes client, brakes his collar bone and is out of the Tour. You never know what you’ll find in the bottom of a canyon ...
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