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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
If being overly thin is what it takes to win the Tour these days, Rabobank has a couple options to find an even skinnier heir apparent to Michael Rasmussen: 1. Do the Hollywood “in-thing”, risking malaria and the bureaucratic headaches of a corrupt third-world government to adopt a malnourished kid from Burkina Faso, or ...
2.Look to rural, Red State America and sign our good old boy Buck here instead. Monday, July 30, 2007
Full of EPO and ContaDoper STILL beat me You would think a guy who was just under suspicion for testosterone doping at the Giro would have played it a little cleaner at the Tour. Monday, July 30, 2007 What did happen is that the Tour became "officially" unwatchable after Cadel fell short on Saturday. The thought of smirky, little ContaDoper riding around with Lance and Johan in tow, toasting each other with champagne flutes, is enough to make any semi-intelligent person homicidal.
People forget that Bruyneel is still looking for a sponsor for next year and really needed a good result at the Tour to make it happen. So if you think ContaDoper is the symbol of the new "clean" peloton, you're either Spanish or really drinking the happy juice.
At least we can assume this guy was clean, being the Lanterne Rouge and all. Friday, July 27, 2007 And to make matters worse, Contado(pe)r could effectively take the yellow, dots and white jerseys.
Triplets! Not to mention be on the podium for the team classification. Stop the Tour! Friday, July 27, 2007
Watch out for the Vino-pire Speaking of performance enhancement, the G-Man has been spotted taking “Bone-Up” -- which he claims is stuff for is broken leg. Cause you know when it's “Business Time”, “That’s It!” is way better than “That’s it?” Check out what Davie’s been up to on the other side of the pond. Thursday, July 26, 2007
Just add Manolo Saiz This is the best Vino posting yet. Made one guy want to make "romatic explosion" after reading it. Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Please, please, please let Cadel Evens beat that little Disco bitch in the ITT by 1:54 and out-duel Levi to grab yellow. The thought of one of Bruyneel's guys getting the win just rubs salt in this whole wound. Tuesday, July 24, 2007
For those of you who feel Vino has been wrongly accused, IBelieveVino.com is for you. For those of you who don't, MexicanAssassin.com is for you. All the pieces are complete now: Vino, Ullrich, Basso, Rumsas, Biloki, Zulle, Kloden. Time to fess up Lance. Monday, July 23, 2007
Contador was never going to put any significant time into Rasmussen that close to the top and the extra time gap created to the other GC contenders means the Chicken will not have to cover every attack so closely on Wednesday. Not to mention it just added to the time padding he needs for the final TT. Makes your head spin. At least we may have found a girl for the A-Train (PsychoCross Art) ... assuming she can ride a bike:
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
And speaking of sighs of relief, for a minute there I thought I was reading the latest blog entry from SlyFox. Technology is great, but before you go out and spend some green on something like this to save a little weight, try adding this to your pre-ride regimen first.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 Poultry Boy may have hung tight with GC conteners and avoided the dog today, but he'll look something like this when team director Theo de Rooij explains what's in store for him on Saturday ...
Bahbaaaccch Monday, July 16, 2007
There hasn’t been this much excitement within a group of men since the boys down at The Ramrod found out Dave Evil was having anal rejuvenation surgery. We also witnessed old man Moreau attacking “old school”, dope-lite turning Spanish climbers into wheel suckers and everyone blowing an opportunity to do some real damage to Vino. Come on O’Grady ... What happened to the CSC team motto, "Harden the Fuck Up"?
Ever wonder what a Frenchman on a 160k breakaway feels like the next morning? Thursday, July 12, 2007 Vino may have limited his time loss to 1:20, but how on earth is he going to be a top contender with this thing on his ass?
That's going to hurt tomorrow Wednesday, July 11, 2007
But then what a hell of a finish. Those worthless, wheel sucking dip-shits in the four-man break looked like deer in headlights when Cancellara came ripping past them. Hey, wasn’t it somebody’s job to kill Al "Tan-in-a-Can" Trautwig before this year’s Tour started? Monday, July 9, 2007 After the pileup, half the peloton came in looking like they had just eaten some bad Mexican food.
Getting into top shape for Le Tour is one thing, but Hincapie was looking more like a holocaust survivor - or maybe a morbidly obese Michael Rasmussen - than a guy who's about to pedal 3,500 kilometers.
And speaking of looking like shit, remember to order your new RideTrash t-shirt and sticker. Saturday, July 7, 2007 Thankfully Cancellara knocked that fucker off the top spot.
After only the Prologue, you can just feel the Astana and Caisse d'Epargne in-fighting beginning to brew. Both teams have too many chiefs and not enough indians. Check it out!!! Order your new RideTrash t-shirt and sticker and don't forget to email me if you want a real bitchin' RideTrash beanie.
Friday, July 6, 2007 Still recovering from the 18-hour “day trip” though Misery Canyon (not my photos, but you get the idea).
Of course having to hike out cross-country under a full moon and getting back to the truck at 2am was not part of the original plan, but it turned out to be quite spectacular. Headlamps and a GPS work wonders in those situations. 7/7/07 means the start of Le Grand Boucle so here are some expert predictions: * Moreau will not podium. * Wiggins will win the Prologue on Brit, home soil, followed by Cancellara and a drug-free David Millar mustering up a sucky 5th or so.
* Valverde will finish way ahead of Pereiro because Pereiro is a dick-shaped empanada. * No one from Agritubel will win a stage or finish in the top 20. The Jerseys: White: After Levi fucks it all up in the first long time trial, coach will set Alberto Contador free for stage wins and the cum-colored jersey.
Now here's a quick quiz for you ... This guy is: Dots: Sadly, The Chicken will again pull off one of those long, lame, solo attacks and take the jersey. Hopefully, Moreau can pull a Richard Virenque and bring something home for the hapless French. Green: Hushovd and Boonen will win a stage or two but look for McEwen to be the most consistent. |
Look at my nipples when I'm talking to you! |
