| Hey, Mr. Hummer H2 Driver |
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Hell has frozen over I’ll be out of town until next week. Lorita and I are meeting up with Mistress Julie to get in some early season base miles at the Cactus Hugger century in sunny, warm, St. George UT.
By the way, because of our current national trade deficit with China, each person in this country owes President Hu Jintao $35,000.
Pay up you Capitalist Pigs Thursday, March 23, 2006
Aren’t you supposed to get your prostate examinated at age 33 or something?
Julie offers Ian her “two finger” method Tuesday, March 21, 2006
While "driving" up Gibraltar, Vanilla 25 Cent saw a solo rider on his way up and thought “that guy’s fucking crazy” then realized it was Ivan, and it all made sense.
Ivan said he failed to think through the actual consequences of a slick, freezing decent, but after near hypothermia and burning through a set of brake pads, he made it home safe and no one will be able to date Claire. Friday, March 17, 2006
Quinn told Murphy his wife was driving him to drink. Stay away from the green beer tonight and stick to the Guinness. Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Who tested positive this week? PsychoCross Art couldn’t believe this guy’s excuse: Meanwhile, Floyd Landis takes a celebratory dump in a euro-modern toilet just after winning Paris-Nice.
Monday, March 13, 2006 "If you're driving along a narrow two lane road with a NO PASSING sign posted, and come upon a bicycle rider. Do you follow this slow-moving rider for the next 2 miles, or do you break the law and pass?"
No straight guy has ever gotten this one wrong. Check out a new edition of The Podium. Friday, March 10, 2006
"This auction is for a crappy square bore Truvativ FiveD crankset and BB. It came stock on a bike I didn't pay a whole lot of money for. Same with the derailleur. I feel like more people should be honest on ebay, so I'll be the change I want to be in the world. This piece of junk is about as fresh and clean as a frontier woman of ill repute. And much like said woman of ill repute, it has had to be straightened out a time or two along the trail with a rock or stick. The derailleur comes with and is about as good as the crankset, actually better, for what that's worth. All the stuff worked alright when I took it off, I just had the chance to upgrade. I'll take 50% off the final bid of anyone with a verifiable military address. You pay shipping." Do they come with crabs and syphilis too? Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Doper! Doper! Doper! Mark my words, he’ll be the next stinking Johan Museeuw. Tuesday, March 7, 2006
It seems those recently billionaired fuckers have discovered this page shows topless women on occasion and, in their eyes, is a porn site. I have now joined the ranks of Big Jonny at Drunk Cyclist.com and hardcore sites like TunaParty.com, meaning I get a more surpressed score. Apparently, I’m not the only one pissed off about Google's rating system. All of this is ironic, since EvilCycling.com has a rating of 5 and contains "text" full of expletives and some crude shit about how Dave and Bear show their deepest affection toward each other on long, cold nights - but that's another story.
Here's to you Google Worst Kits of 2006 Update: Like Milram, the DFL Team has gone with the “We are a bunch of Special Ed retards with black briefs pulled up over the outside of our kits” look.
I'll bet you money they ride from race to race in a short yellow bus. Monday, March 6, 2006
Stiffer than Paul Lynn at a gay bar More good stuff from PsychoCross Art here, including fish tacos and nightclub chicas, as the Vuelta Sonora comes to a conclusion.
Can you say "Tres-some"? Did I mention Alex Zulle is riding on the team he's supporting? Friday, March 3, 2006
... he’s writing some great shit about the Vuelta Sonora Stage Race on his blog www.artoconnor.com. Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Damsel & Art He’ll be working as a team director during the Vuelta Sonora Stage Race and trying to avoid cavity searches when the Federallies find the stash of undeclared tequila and “pharmaceuticals” in his truck. Meanwhile, a sober Vox Proletariat had this to say about the last few RideTrash posts ... “By "more tits", I meant more numbers of tits. Like, a greater quantity of B's or C's. Not one nice helping of F's. That shit's nasty ...
... The hairy chicks were a turn on in kind of bestial way. Like sheep, only with nice tits and no shit matted in their fur.”
Can you say "Coloraddy"? |
Look at my nipples when I'm talking to you! |
