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Thursday, May 25, 2006 "Old Chinese proverb: A fish rots from head first"
After being charged for possession of hormones, anabolic steroids, packets of blood and material to perform blood transfusions, Manolo Saiz was released on bail today. Authorities are considering him a low-flight risk based on the fact that he never ventures too far from the local Rosquillas stand. Maybe Disco will get smart and sign Vino for the Tour after their disastrous showing at the Giro.
And as far as these other investigations are concerned, I don’t believe for a minute that Jan Ullrich is doping ... just look at the way that boy gets his ass handed to him on the big climbs. I’ll be out of town for a few days, so until then, keep yourself busy with the new June 2006 Mistress Julie Calendar.
The birthday girl! Tuesday, May 23, 2006
We all know he used the big syringe on Roberto Heras in the 2005 Vuelta and it's about time the Spanish authorities realized he did too. Not to worry - Our little dough-boy should have no problem at all handling 23 hours a day of inactivity and platefuls of pig slop, cafeteria-style food they serve in prison. Monday, May 22, 2006
With the loss of Petacchi, Milram is a team without a purpose. And with no real sprinters left in the race, Bettini has a chance to take stages and the points jersey.
The old Rear Admiral move Phil Liggett pointed it out yesterday on OLN and it happened again today - obviously there’s some sort of arrangement between the two squads. Check out the new edition of The Podium. Friday, May 19, 2006
Always something in the mouth But before you Team Kaiser fans get too excited, keep in mind he only beat Ivan Basso by 28 ticks on a long, pancake-flat course and hasn’t yet shown he can climb anything steeper than his driveway.
I want to see if Der Fat Boy (Speaking of fat ...) makes the time cut off on some of the big mountain stages later next week. RideTrash prediction ... Ullrich will be the Bride’s Maid or worse again in July – Vive la Basso (and her brother Ivan)!!!
Elisa Basso Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Big, tough climbs are nothing new in the Giro d’Italia and the Plan de Corones finish of stage 17 will be no exception.
Of course, this one could be made even more difficult if the Italians don't finish resurfacing the road this week. Speaking of mountains, Vanilla 25 Cent and Golden Boy just got back from a summit attempt on Mount Rainer up in Washington. Their climbing team battled freezing temperatures and 40 MPH winds - resulting in only 4 of the 12 members making it to the top. That wasn't the only hardship on the trip. After landing in Seattle, the rental car company informed them that the Subaru Outback they had reserved was unavailable and that they would be "upgraded" to a Hummer.
Not only did this piece-of-shit, behemoth get negative 10 miles to the gallon, but even other big SUV drivers were flipping them off, forgetting that they too were driving a gas-guzzling, eco-rapist. Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black. Monday, May 15, 2006
And we get out and ride our bikes for the great view of Julie's butt ...
Check out the new rant from Mistress Julie and see why you should always play nice and be nice in the sandbox. Erik broke into his parent's liquor cabinet over the weekend and has some commentary about the Giro. "Serguei Gonchar is a fag. Did you see his whole "emotional moments" on the podium of stage 7? Don't get me wrong, if I got to wear the hot pink jersey another day I would probably be crying like a bitch too, but I'd do it in the team car, not on the podium where the chicks are. What a homo." Friday, May 12, 2006
Cats are notorious for getting in your way - while reading, under foot, under car tire - and this is no exception. I guess this is how "that" girl part got its name. Makes me wish I had a handful of tuna treats right now.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty Wednesday, May 10, 2006
With obviously way too much time on his hands, Erik has created his own pagan religious shrine to RideTrash.(Hey, does that qualify me for tax-exempt status with the IRS?)
Maybe when he turns 21 next month, he’ll be able to add some alcohol to the assortment. I’d hit this ... with a cement truck.
Rabbits can't even breed that fast Tuesday, May 9, 2006
Too bad she was dining with some dumpy troll named Ellen DeGeneres. Taylor may have dumped his girlfriend, quit his job and moved back to San Diego - all in the past two months - but, thanks to Webmaster Lee, we can still keep tabs on our favorite, former Giant employee's alcohol-fueled adventures at SurfandTurfDeluxe.com.
Like a pig in slop At the Belgian edition of the Giro, Stephan Schumacher ended up showing the stage 3 pre-race favorites like Bettini and Rebellin just how big HIS dick is.
Not afraid, or too overpaid, to risk it all in the crappiest spring weather northern Europe has to offer, the bottled-water-boy’s efforts paid off resulting in the best win of his career. Is it just me, or does Ullrich look about as bad as Erik felt on Saturday morning? “Fuck your one yarea aniversay i'll be 21 in like 22 days and i dont get a fucming anivversarey. and its cinco de mayo and you dfidnt paost anything you fucking communist. shit bro fuck. i ahte the backwardfs hat mafia fuck those guys.” Can you feel the love? Monday, May 8, 2006
This young woman has a unique way of blowing out candles ... among her many other “talents.” Time for your next fix of metal, mayhem and Mistress Nikki. Sounds like her and the girls did some damage out there in Vegas.
Viva la Drunk Girls! Thursday, May 4, 2006 After nearly 6 weeks of cold, crappy, rainy, winter weather, we're being greeted with a solid week of the dense marine inversion layer (aka. fog) that's usually reserved for the summer months.
Being a"solar-powered" person, this kind of shit really pisses me off. Until the weather improves, maybe a nice distraction will help.
If you make it a point to check this website while at work, you may want to review your company’s sexual harassment policy ...
And whatever you do, don't bother using the old CIA pick up line on temp-receptionists ...
Tuesday, May 2, 2006
She makes me stiffer than an Aluminum frame. Check out PsychoCross Art’s La Vuelta de Bisbee wrap-up over at artoconnor.com as he prepares to take names and kick some ass at the Tour of Gila. Apparently Ian isn’t the only one who knows how to get a goat in the mood. Looks like Erik’s got some moves of his own.
Barnyard Burr! Vox really should be a little more discreet about posting his hairy nipple all over the internet ...
I know a few guys that need one of these. Monday, May 1, 2006 Aussie Cadel Evans had a “G’day” yesterday, winning the ITT and taking the overall from Valverde and some doped-up shithead from Liberty Saguaros at the Tour de Romandie.
It's time to get out your hand lotion and tissue ... here comes the May 2006 Mistress Julie Calendar.
And if that doesn’t get the job done, check out Erik’s former and current girlfriends.
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Look at my nipples when I'm talking to you! |
