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Friday, October 28, 2005
Anne-O was raving about a “Baby Einstein” DVD (as well as shopping cart covers - just kill me now) that Disney put out. In response, Vanilla 25 Cent and I put together our own production to help her little guy's cognitive development. Wednesday, October 26, 2005 Lorrie and I met up with Mistress Julie and PsychoCross Art in SLC before heading out to Moab for some outdoor abuse with Scumbag and Big White Girl.
Art, Julie, Lorrie & Swill Salt Lake City has changed quite a bit since I was last there 10 years ago. Alcohol is now available pretty much everywhere - although you need to order a “sidecar” with your drink (or bring a flask of SKY vodka) to have any kick - and the city actually has a strip club - and you guessed it, every one of the girls is blonde. Lucky for us, the Mormons are slowly losing their war on immorality.
Sister Becky, our bartender at The Red Door, kept them coming. We had some incredible Mole at the Red Iguana (a divey little place with a line out the door) an amazing dinner at the Bambara and stayed in the famous Celine Dion Suite at the “Casa De Julie”.
Julie's "Turn-Down" Service In Moab, we canyoneered slots in the Fiery Furnace (2 miles in 5 hours pretty much describes the difficulty level)...
simultaneously rappelled off a 120-foot arch in Negro Bill Canyon and shot rapids on the Westwater section of the Colorado River.
Swill & Scumbag "trust" each other, Lorrie descends
Are you sure the knot is tied? I guess it’s a good thing we flew on United and not some budget airline - but on the flight back, they seated four of the oldest and most feeble people on the plane in the exit row in front of us. These geriatric dinosaurs couldn’t get the lid off a Tylenol bottle, let alone the door of an airplane, and I was freaking out. I had it all figured out how I was going to "pull" and "toss" THEM to the side in the event of an emergency. And finally, Mistress Julie kicked some ass on Sunday placing 3rd in her first cyclocross race.
In a skirt none-the-less Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Vox formally be MY bitch I had a strange revelation the other day. I was sitting in traffic listening to some really good fuck-the-world punk on XM satellite radio and I realized – I’m listen to “punk” on my "$14 a month, subcription-based, XM satellite radio” – there is something very hypocritical about that. Welcome to Thirtysomething.
I'm heading out to Moab for some class 4 white water rafting and a little rappelling off 100-foot arches.
Try to survive without your regular fix of RideTrash.com for a few days. Friday, October 14, 2005
Uhhh ... Cal-lee-forn-neeeaahhh Two years ago he won a landslide recall election because the morons in this state are incapable of distinguishing an action hero from an actor. Schwarzenegger’s approval rating is so low right now, he wishes he had George W’s. Apparently, people DO check out this site – or maybe just check out her. Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Nooooooooooooooooo! Until now, beer had been the last haven for glass bottles. In plastic, it gets warm - like a Corona on the beach in Cozumel, just without the scenery and the lime - and the threaded rim is just wrong. The only good thing about this package is that you can really fuck with people by pretending to get pissed and then throwing a bottle at the wall - only to have it bounce off.
I know I'm ready for about a years supply all at once. I wonder if my insurance will cover it? Seems that Mistress Julie might need some too and has a little something to say about the NIN/QOTSA concert event staff out in SLC. Monday, October 10, 2005
He reportedly recognized the yellow anti-doping bus (WADA could have been a little more stealthful) parked in front of his house and, deciding not to attend the control, fled the scene in his Audi A3. Before he was able to get away, the doctor in charge recognized him and reported the incident. According to Belgian law, refusing a doping control equals testing positive. Amazingly, Van Dijk is still allowed to race and finished 11th in Paris-Tours on Sunday. Speaking of Paris-Tours, Cyclingnews.com wrote that Eric Zabel’s win on Sunday was a nice “thank you and farewell” to T-Mobile – Seems to me it was probably more like a “fuck you, I can still win big races, see you later” sort of gesture.
Check out Tippy McSketchy on the left Mistress Julie got a little head start on Halloween last Friday at the Tour de Satan, bike & bar event.
I want to go to hell Friday, October 7, 2005
Or that you don’t have one of these dream employment opportunities: Barnyard Masturbator By the way, Christian Leask don’t need no tape.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005 Big Brad B. says he loves riding the cold and wet conditions out there in New Jersey but this can't be what he had in mind ...
I'm sure that most of you are familiar with the old “Edward 40-Hands” game, played by taping two 40 oz. bottles of malt liquor to each hand and having to consume them before they're removed. I want to see someone attempt “Edward 100-Miles” – being taped to their bike until they've finished the Son of Death Ride or Leadville 100. Can you say pain? I wonder if Ian has ever done this with a couple of bottles of 1968 Chateau Mouton Bordeaux at Wine Night? Monday, October 3, 2005 Dear Swill, We have removed your link because it doesn't meet our decency standards. Thanks for your understanding. admin@bikejournal.com
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