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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Something smells fishier than Caldo de Pescado being farted out of a fat Spaniard's ass. Monday, October 30, 2006
This shit's funnier than Jan Ullrich thinking he’ll be riding on a ProTour team in 2007. Of course, here at RideTrash, we’re a little more down with this version. Met up with Caroline, Queen Bee and Buyin’ on Saturday night and hit up a couple of the local bars in costume. Lorita and I narrowly avoided being attacked by a shark, only to have Lorita later attacked by Liz.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 Ullrich and Kloden are up in the front group sharing scrotum patches. I’m going to miss the good old days of doping and infighting at T-Mobile.
Word has it that the Cielo Velo jersey I designed with Colvin was on display in the Louis Garneau booth at Interbike. Yeah, we look good!
And what’s so wrong with an Atomic Wedgie every once in a while?
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Check out the new edition of The Podium. Monday, October 23, 2006
And while the rest of the world is busy logging on to YouTube, it’s a good bet RideTrash Legal Council Jeff has something else on his computer. Anyone up for some surfing lessons with Martin’s friend Vanessa? Makes you want to fane drowning just to get mouth-to-mouth. I’ll make sure to wear my medical bracelet that says I breathe through my penis.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
The last half of this YouTube clip is priceless. Wednesday, October 18, 2006 A local high school student slipped his teacher a note saying that one of his classmates had come to school “loaded”. The instructor, interpreting this to mean he had possession of a weapon, called police and school officials evacuated the campus ... only to find out the kid in question had been toaking up.
Armed with Maui Wowie Our girl Stacy popped her cycling cherry last week finishing her first full century at the LiveStrong 100. Not only is she one tough cookie, but I can pretty much guarantee she’s the only hot, bisexual chick that visits this site.
Must be for the articles Monday, October 16, 2006 WTF, couldn't they find anything else in the kitchen to throw in there?
The Colonel needs to be lynched I can't believe people still eat this shit. I’m sure anyone stupid enough to actually put one of these down totally regretted it ... and definitely needs to hit the gym. Friday, October 13, 2006
Crap, hurry up and resign Tyler while you're at it you asshole. AG2R, on the other hand, has displayed at least a shred of ethics by refusing to let Mancebo ride for their team in 2007. And Landis - his legal team officially abandoned the beer and whiskey shots defense and is now focused on the technical gobbledygook relating to laboratory procedures.
Smoke and mirrors Speaking of doping related stuff, Swiss Miss informs me that not only did Amgen develop EPO, but they are also responsible for the enzyme Protease ... a.k.a. pro cycling's favorite laundry detergent additive.
Shifting gears ... When you think of great athletic prowess, I bet images of Woody Allen and the local Hasidic Rabbi don’t really come to mind.
Before you think it is an unfair generalization that our friends of the Jewish persuasion are more likely to OWN or manage a professional sports team than to PLAY for one, this site may be of interest. Also, rumor has it that Levi Leipheimer went to Disco because Bontrager tires not only stop on a dime, they pick them up. Okay, now I'm going to hell. Monday, October 9, 2006
Sadly, there are a few too many of you out there who wouldn’t need to actually BUY the fake novelty product in order to thwart a would-be burglar. Did I mention I really like OctoberFest?
Mugs and Jugs Friday, October 6, 2006 “On your September 11th post you mentioned the doper Tammy Thomas. I clicked on the link for the dyke and noticed something interesting. One of the pics shows her national champ jerseys in a closet but there’s something more interesting on the top shelf. A box of Laundry Detergent.(see October 2nd posting)
Tide lets you ride! I guess the dyke forgot it at home that day or something. Keep it trashy!” Correction: Our beloved Mistress Julie came in 3rd out of 4 in her A Group season opener last weekend, not 5th out of 5. Needless to say, I'm at serious risk of paying dearly for that mistake.
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
Mayo made the move after Euskaltel-Euskadi offered to renew the "turddy little tapa" at a much lower salary - based on the fact that he hasn’t done shit on a bike since 2004. Speaking of a rider with a perfectly good vagina, Mistress Julie opened up her 2006 Cyclocross season last weekend taking 5th (cough ... out of 5) after upgrading into Group A this year.
Yeah, but who looked the best out there? Monday, October 2, 2006 A new Swiss report claims that an enzyme, used as a stain remover and found in common laundry detergent, is giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "racing clean".
Urine samples being tested for EPO are supposed to show at least a small amount of EPO that the body naturally produces. However, more and more samples are coming in with “no” EPO value, including some from Jan Ullrich.
Jan, I don't taste any EPO Here’s how they use it ... The athlete puts a little powder in his pockets, puts his fingers in it and urinates over his fingers at the control like some sort of retard kid. The enzyme is mixed with his urine in the container, destroys the EPO protein and the rider goes on to win 7 tours.
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