RideTrash Main

Wednesday, October 31, 2007
If only my neighborhood had some Trick-or-Treaters like this ... or houses that handed out beer for that matter.

Yes, the end of October is already here and that means it's time for a new Mistress Julie Calendar.

Monday, October 29, 2007
Check out this article Rob in Queens sent me.

17% of tested athletes have NO EPO value (remember, your body produces a small amount naturally).

In an average peloton, that's about the percentage of guys who are actually going for the win.

So basically, any assclown who crosses the line first is most likely on the juice.

Add this EPO bullshit to DiLuca’s pre-pubescent testosterone level during the Giro and I’d say it’s time the UCI got some MINIMUM levels established.

Celebrate the suspension!

Thursday, October 25, 2007
After reading the conversation Rob in Queens had with his 3 1/2 year old daughter, there may be hope for our nation’s youth after all ...

Rob in Queens: "Caileine, Do you want to listen to some music?"
Caileine: "Yes."
Rob in Queens: "What kind of music?"
Caileine: "Fast."
(Rob in Queens plays Motorhead, Skew Siskin and Rotting Christ ... loud)

(Caileine starts playing air guitar, banging her head, dancing and running around the house)
Rob in Queens: "Cailey, Do you love metal?"
Caileine: "Uh huh."
(Rob in Queens plays some "slow" Mercyful Fate)
Caileine screams ... "I said faster!!!!"

"I predict she's going to be the type that you'll catch riding motocross in a hockey jersey after ballet lessons with a black eye. And she's cute as hell. I'm going to have my hands full." Rob.

Let's just hope she doesn't end up on RideTrash or in this band 15 years from now.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Nai and I just came back into SoCal from doing Birch Hollow and Mystery Canyon in Zion and ran into this:

Anyone got the Smores?

After dealing with 6 weeks of “tailpipe air quality” from the Zaca fire, the fucking smoke and ash is back, not to mention the mental anguish of not being able to ride outside - unless you want a severe case of Black Lung.

At least my 16 million dollar pad didn’t go up in flames.

Monday, October 15, 2007
While this is enough to make you want to puke, this quickly reminds you of the beauty of our sport and just how much fun you can have with a bike ...

Of course, some people take their enjoyment to more extensive levels.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Yeah, at first glance this procycling anal cavity smuggler looks like a hard case to store long fucking yellow fruit in, but how do you think douche bags like Paulo Bettini get their EPO over the border?

KY jelly not included

Monday, October 8, 2007
This guy is a total dickhead.

The same might be said for this guy, but for an entirely different reason.

The stocking cap was a nice touch for sure.

Speaking of dick, Dave Evil is so gay, rumor has it he eats corn off the cob lengthwise ... That’s just what people say. Don’t shoot the messenger.

Back to bike-related shit, TheGoat.Backcountry.com is worth a click.

Easy now, we're not talking about a site dedicated to rural man-love with hooved animals, but rather a place to check out both hip and worthless crap like this alike.

Thursday, October 4, 2007
Quote of the day:"The only thing I won in 2007 is the 2006 Tour." - Spanish shitbag and possibly the least deserving winner in modern Tour history, Oscar Pereiro.

While it's a fact of life that some guys have bigger cajones and some girls have better ... tans ...

... it's also a fact that while you may get away with peeing in the pool, this will likely not go unnoticed.

Monday, October 2, 2007
What a pathetic week for pro cycling.

That little juiced-up cockroach is the World Road Champ again (without agreeing to forfeit a single strand of DNA) and Bruyneel, Contadoper and Leipheimer are all headed to Astana.

Tell me again why Astana still has a ProTour licence???

I think I need some Boob Scotch to kill the pain.