| Hey, Mr. Hummer H2 Driver |
Friday, September 30, 2005 Apparently, Surly didn’t get the memo ...
The Pugsley is a geared, steel hardtail built around four-inch tires and is basically what people did to their bikes 20 years ago to get “full suspension”. Surly claims their inspiration for the large-format tires came from riding around the rocks and snow of their home town Minneapolis -- I'm guessing it came from a few pounds of premium weed.
Dude, I'm thinking coaster brakes next year Thursday, September 29, 2005 Symptoms include the uncontrollable urge to purchase a ridiculously large truck, Hummer or other 9MPG SUV -- despite the fact that gas is over $3.00 per gallon -- and an overpowering feeling that if you’re in a Ford Escape, and you park next to a guy in a Ford Excursion, you think that his penis is at least six inches longer than yours.
The most serious cases are identified by the presence of a gun rack, support our troops sticker or confederate flag. I just hope they can find a cure before the o-zone layer disappears. Tuesday, September 27, 2005
What do you get when you mix alcohol, body paint and hot weather together? Fantasy Fest in the Florida Keys.
Check out what Mistress Julie has planned for Halloween. Also, she’s decided to post her e-mail address for all of you perverts. I take no responsibility for anything Vox sends her. Friday, September 23, 2005 The Mayor of a coastal Texas town in the path of Hurricane Rita has ordered that 1,000 permanent markers be given to die-hards who refuse to evacuate with instructions to write their Social Security Number across their abdomen. This way, returning officials can easily identify their dead bodies.
Pussies Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Steve, Dave, Ivanski, Swill and Eric We spent 5½ hours climbing high altitude roads, passing hundreds of out-of-shape riders, sucking thin air and dealing with 20-30 MPH head/crosswinds -- not to mention farting, burping and laughing at Ivan’s chamois cream stains.
Dave summits Sagehen Pass - Swill and Eric wonder what the fuck he's on I always forget how hard that distance really is, especially when wind conditions are as challenging as they were. The Advil and Double Nut Brown Ale we put down after the ride sure helped ease the pain though. Tuesday, September 20, 2005 Monday, September 19, 2005
These one-gallon plastic milk jugs full of urine are tossed to the roadside by truckers who refuse to stop to relieve themselves while driving hours on end. As deadline pressures increase, this newest form of litter on our nation’s highways is becoming a greater problem. One county in Washington reported collecting nearly 3,000 bottles of urine and 100 fecal covered items (not including diapers) in one year. And all these years Jeff thought it was free apple juice. Thursday, September 15, 2005
The "Botox Smile" Women are shooting themselves up with so much Botox their faces have just stopped moving -- Vox wishes science could develop something that kept their mouths from moving, but that's another story.
Speaking of needles, does anyone else think it’s unusual that Roberto Heras was repeatedly shelled on every mountain stage of the Tour, then comes back 6 weeks later and dominates the Vuelta? And, what the fuck is going on over at Phonak? Five guys busted for EPO and or doping in the last 12 months.
Get out of there Floyd Apparently, Anne Arkham dusted off her coot last weekend and hasn’t been able to wipe the smile off her face yet. Tuesday, September 13, 2005
The first time I ever saw this stuff, it was lurking on a mixed platter we had ordered at a place called Taj and I thought our group had done something to really piss off the chef. Speaking of meat, nothing says “cool” like covering your disfiguring dermal abrasions with these ...
Monday, September 12, 2005
No. It's not a scorpion Over in Spain this weekend, it seems Manolo Saiz used the big syringe on his boy Heras for Stage 15 of the Vuelta a Espana. Denis Menchov couldn't follow the Spaniard's drug-induced tempo and ended up losing more than 5 minutes, and the lead.
Arriving in second place was “Dirty” Samuel Sanchez (Euskaltel) Wednesday, September 7, 2005 Check out the new Mistress Julie rant. Until next week ...
What’s with the chamois sausage dude?
How to void your manufacturer warranty Tuesday, September 6, 2005
And all of this hardly constitutes looting in any real sense. These people are just trying to get some food to keep from starving to death thanks to the slow reaction of state and federal relief efforts. Now, my man here has the right idea ...
Unfortunately, he had to ditch the fro comb and stick the last bottle in his back pocket to get the full case out da door. Friday, September 2, 2005
Bush pretends to give a crap We are either seeing a signal that four years after 911 and billions of taxpayer dollars later, we are no better prepared for a major terrorist attack or a disturbing display of racial, socio-economic discrimination by our government. Both should keep you up at night.
Someone still has a sense of humor Thursday, September 1, 2005
Swill |
Look at my nipples when I'm talking to you! |
