Sprinting ahead of the pack ...

1. MLB Season (More spread out than Vox's ex-wife)
As if the month-long, televised spring training and 165+ game schedule that doesn’t end until November wasn’t enough - they’ve added the World Baseball Classic.

Not to mention the hours and hours of out-of-shape Sports Center guys in their business suits hyper-analyzing every meaningless statistic.

Now all they need is an Arena Baseball League to fill the two month gap and make it a year-round sport.

Except for the World Series, I’d rather watch paint dry.

2. Barry Bonds (Ban Barry)
In addition to the painfully long season, baseball is full of doped up fuckers like Barry Bonds who taint the true records set by guys who played before anyone knew how to cheat.

Steroids? Never touched the stuff

Even with the damaging information released last week that Bonds used flaxseed oil and arthritis cream (a.k.a. steroids), fans and the league just continue to look the other way.

Masking the side effects

3.OLN (Soon will be: Only Landis Network)
Still holds firm to the belief that hunting programs featuring Ted Nugget blasting various wildlife into lead-filled hamburger are better than decent cycling coverage.

Narcissistic Redneck Asshole

Archives