Sprinting ahead of the pack ...

1. French Pro Cyclists (Le Suck)
The final UCI ProTour rankings have been released and four Americans made it into the top 10.

Conversely, there are only four French riders in the top 100 with the best placed of them sitting in thirtieth place.

"Mon Dieu"

Tour director Jean-Marie LeBlanc has been promoting this strange idea that the French are the only “clean” riders in the peleton and that’s why they are sucking "Mime" balls at the moment.

I hate to break it to you LeBlanc, but everyone in pro racing is doped up to some extent.

And what’s with Jean-Marie getting all pissy about Armstrong all of a sudden? Did someone go and pasteurize his cheese or something?

Fuck you "One Nut", Same to you "Fat Ass"

2. Jan "Bride's Maid" Ullrich (T-Moblie)
I’ll go on record now and say, even with a prologue and 116k of time trials, the 2006 Tour will see Ullrich fail yet again.

My money is on Team CSC and Ivan Basso. Speaking of money, I wouldn't mind an exchange of 20's with Basso’s sister Elisa.

I love Vox Proletariat.com

Without Armstrong, a TTT or as many hard climbs as in the past, more guys will be in contention next year, increasing the chance that a lesser-overall rider will sneak in a victory. Basically, it’s going to be one, big, wide-open, cluster fuck.

3. Not Naming Names (Bambi Killer)
When guys (usually with mullets and red state license plates) go out huntin' and kill the biggest, strongest buck they can find, they create a situation that allows the other weaker bucks to knock-up every female in sight, resulting in the overpopulation, and subsequent starvation, of the herd - not to mention adversely affecting the gene pool.

To each his own - I'm just saying that when these guys claim to be part of the solution, in reality, they cause most of the problem.

When the natural order is left to its own, the weak ones die and the strong ones survive - so do everyone a favor and limit your shots to anything that limps or has a tumor the size of a basketball on its neck.

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