Sprinting ahead of the pack ...

1. SlyFox (The Colon Blow Show)
So SlyFox gained a few pounds this year and now he’s launched himself on some crazy ass diet that limits his caloric intake to one orange a day for the next three weeks.

Personally, I’m fond of oranges when they come in pairs.

I really don’t understand why people do this whole fasting/cleansing bit.

They claim it’s a spiritual experience – Yeah, I bet it feels "spiritual" when you throw your body's entire chemical system out of whack and deprive your brain of essential calories and nutrients.

As a rule of thumb, anything done to an extreme is rarely good for you.

The poor little retard would be better off cleansing his system with a liquid diet of Belgian beer and burning calories watching midget porn.

2. USADA Sager/Jeanson (Hypocrisy at its finest)
Jason Sager missed a random control at the end of an event last summer (due to poor communication by race organizers) and was given a two year suspension by USADA, which was later negotiated down to one year.

Cycling’s version of Celine Dion, Canadian Geneviève Jeanson, missed a control at the World Cup in 2004 and was let off with a warning.

She also tested above the limit for hematocrit at the World's road race and wasn't allowed to race.

She then tested positive for EPO and was finally issued a lifetime ban.

Rather than receive the ban, she retired. All this happened while she was racing with a US license because Canada would not issue her one.

Now USADA has made a deal to rescind the lifetime ban and retroactively initiate a 2 year ban from her positive EPO test's date.

Jason is a guy I believe to be clean because he races for pleasure rather than a paycheck ... that, and just look at his results :)

On the other hand, Jeanson has won virtually every race she ever entered.

The sad thing is that some penalty had to be imposed on Sager, otherwise a precedent would be set for real dopers to use and abuse.

Jason will just have to sadly assume the role a martyr in this situation.

Pro-Sager and Con-Sager

As far as Jeanson is concerned, I hope she gets a mean case of twat rot and contracts AIDS from sharing an EPO needle with Tyler Hamilton’s lost twin.

3.College Football #1 (Who Really Cares?)
Rooting for your alma matter as they play traditional conference rivals is one thing, but after that is where the problem starts.

People want a “number one”.

Thus you have a BCS ranking system that sucks more cock than the Pi Theta Gamma house.

With no playoffs and only a computerized system to determine “who is the best”, the whole concept of a NCAA national champion is pathetic.

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